I feel great today,
Like before my surgery.
Chemo tomorrow.

There are 3 portals.
1st was the diagnosis.
2nd chemo, 3rd …

I lose focus when
I stare into the abyss.
Forever’s too much.

In floating moments,
scenes of beauty and terror
too intense to hold.

Chemo-terror-me;
civil war in my body.
That scorched earth was me.

All my friends offer
sweet help with errands, but there’s
no deliverance.

Young me asked Dad why
trains leave late but not early.
A premonition?

Now my name’s been called
for early departure on
a train with no lights.

It’s the Red Badge of
Courage. I don’t know how I’ll
respond to this fight.

Wish I felt braver.
What’s your tolerance for me
being scared and down?

I think my fear is
coursing just under my feet.
Will I be engulfed?

My younger sister,
Lori, has brain cancer. I
hope I win this race.

I used to wake up
with sexual dreams; now with
haikus about death.

Weird desires: I’d like
to live long enough to have
a 4th kidney stone.

The last things to go:
impatience with slow drivers;
desire for junk food.

Don’t want to go blind,
lose my mind, or hurt all day.
More tater tots, please.

I look like Buddha.
Rosanna sheared me hairless.
I made the belly.

I don’t know if Life
is greater than Death, but Love
is more than either.

– Adapted from the movie version of Tristan and Isolde