Not Ever
Not Ever
By Marya Smith

Whenever I leave to go away
For more than an hour, or say,
Fifty miles, I want to go back and check
The oven, the iron, the thermostat . . .
It’s easy to forget to do things.

And so I worry when I leave.
In all the years, unnecessarily.
Or mostly: that time with the coffeepot.
Too many miles, so a neighbor stopped,
Unplugged it, “no worries—easy to forget.”

The thing is, I do not want to leave, to go—
Not ever, not anywhere, even though
There are other good places, seen and unseen.
But I feel better here. My dog, my routine.
I never forget why I do not want to leave.

And now you are leaving, slantwise in your bed
Still joking. But weeks not months they said.
Maybe days. Of course they don’t say that.
But weeks are made of days, I know that fact.
I worry that you worry what you might forget:

Will you leave on the computer, the garden hose—
And that upstairs window—so easy to forget to close?
Will you want to make a final check, a call?
Rest assured: Unplugged. All.
Forget? We go on only knowing we cannot.

Marya Smith has written essays, feature articles, and profiles for publications including the Chicago Tribune, Ladies' Home Journal, Runner’s World, and Prevention. She holds a BA in English literature from Cornell University. Two of her plays have been performed at small Chicago theaters. She’s published two children’s novels: Across the Creek (Little, Brown & Company/Arcade imprint, 1989) and Winter-Broken (Little, Brown & Company/Arcade imprint, 1990). Her poetry has been published in literary journals, most recently Passager and Paddler Press. She lives in rural northwestern Illinois where she enjoys riding her horses and collecting Victorian majolica, but usually not at the same time.

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