By Erin Rose Panzella
Writer’s Note: “Reverberations of Pulse” is intended to shed light on the lasting impact that the 2016 mass shooting has had on the campus of the Orlando Health hospitals, located just three blocks from the Pulse nightclub. Orlando Health treated 44 patients and performed 28 surgeries on the night of the shooting. Although every patient who reached the operating room survived, our community lost 49 lives. A lesser known fact about the Orlando Health campus is that it includes an outdoor replica of the pavement labyrinth at Chartres Cathedral in France. Walking the labyrinth path promotes self-reflection through releasing, receiving and returning. This poem was conceived while walking the labyrinth and offers an individual perspective on a collective grief experience.
This was once a sanctuary
I could easily escape to
And frequently did
Whether it be after the heartbreaking death of a patient
Or one of the bone-weary days spent at my grandfather’s bedside
Before we took him home with hospice
Despite its perch above busy Orange Avenue the labyrinth was
Always a quiet and secluded-feeling place
It never used to feel desolate though
The way it has for almost two years now
This is only my second visit since
Waking to the aftershocks
Of the tragedy that quaked
My city’s soul
The labyrinth now lies behind
Locked doors
With no direct entrance or exit
From within the walls of the hospital
Our only functioning doors are now
Manned with security officers and metal detectors
Once out those doors and onto Orange Avenue you can either
Climb the steep stairs to the labyrinth
Or walk down a few blocks to the site
Of Pulse
I climbed the stairs to the labyrinth today
After entrusting my mother to the kind anesthesiologist
Who promised to take excellent care of her
This oasis of hope and healing
Was still exactly what my soul needed
But I can no longer reach it
Without sensing the reverberations of
Terror that forever shattered the
Congruency of this campus