Dave thinks seeing you in my dreams is bad luck
He gives me verses to dispel familiar spirits
I don’t talk about you to mum though
She misses you so, perhaps more than I do
I hear it in her voice
I read it in her messages

You left a long time ago, even before you left
But I knew I could always count on you
I knew you were always there
Now I like to pretend you’re still a phone call away
I like to pretend I will see you when I visit
That we’ll jest like old times about our shared secrets
About the memories that formed our bond

You didn’t get my Christmas message
Or maybe you did
I didn’t send you one at Easter
I don’t know if I will send you one this Christmas
I try to look for your face in mine
I stare and stare sometimes my eyes hurt
Have I said goodbye?
I’m talking to you right now, aren’t I?
I miss you like I never thought I would
Silent and deep
I’m screaming in silence

I read the messages we shared
I listen to the recordings of your voice
I look at our pictures and weep for what you could have
been
What we could have done

I hate that you didn’t get to see my children
That they don’t get the privilege to call you Uncle
I miss that I can’t just call to check on you

It’s moons since you left
But nothing’s changed

They say time heals wounds
They lied